olive update, sleepy time

olive is now wearing 6 month clothes and is a full pound heavier than aug was at this age. aah flubbery goodness. have i mentioned that she likes/is soothed by the song yellow submarine? love that about her. she's reverse cycling a lot lately which means she wants to nurse all night and not-so-much during the day. im pretty tired and worn thin on personal time. i think this is making me eat a lot of garbage lately, reasoning that oh i don't have any personal time to myself but i can indulge a little by eating (fill in the blank). this isn't about weight though - honestly i have no desire to know what i weigh. i think i look just fine and dandy and a number is just that. numbers. what i care about is health (so says the lady who hasn't worked out since high school...) skinny does not equal healthy! the point is eating ice cream, pizza, and chips is no good for me. im not blaming olive im just saying that im exhausted a lot lately. between providing meals, keep this place clean(ish), taking care of a baby, keeping up with and providing stimulation for a toddler, laundry and diapers, oh yeah and let's throw some quality time with my husband in there, and guess what is left over in the day? about 25 minutes of me time which i fill with reading usually but what i really want to do is sleep. back me up, a 25 minute nap is nothing. oh and let's not forget that this might or might not be a consecutive 25 minutes.

the other day i fell asleep on the couch. that might not sound alarming to anyone but for me this is the quintessence of exhaustion behavior for me. since college ive had insomnia problems off and (more than not) on but my entire life i've been a finicky sleeper. outside of childhood i think i have slept in a car perhaps once or twice. if i'm not lying down flat, with an adequate pillow, blanket, fan for white noise, and ear plugs, with the temperature set and a cool setting - forget about it... anyways i was reading running with scissors and woke with it on my chest, olive snoozing away in the swing, and auggie playing in his room (which turned into a nap). there's only so much caffeine i can smash into my life without it doing negative things to me and olive. i allow myself 2 cups of black tea (30 mg of caffeine/cup) or 3 cups of green tea (15 mg/cup) per day and on a very very rare day one coke (34 mg).










solidarity! (i think olive has inherited davids squinty left eye)




autumn needs to hurry up and get here. im so over summer.