saddest photo ever. yesterday augustine came home from school and we went to the park with a group of friends because it was positively gorgeous outside. sidebar: what is going on with this weather!? it was 70 yesterday! in ohio! in winter! im still holding out for snow. ANY SNOW. so he ate a light snack and was chasing the neighbor girls around but a few minutes later said he felt kind of sick to his stomach. i thought maybe he had just eaten then run and it had given him a cramp or something. 10 minutes later he said he wanted to go home. i gave him some peppermint oil and doused his stomach area with digestzen (which has ginger, peppermint, terragon, fennel, caraway, coriander, and anise). he said it helped him relieve some stomach pressure but he still felt sick. i gave him a bath with some relaxing oils in it and he just looked like a wet dog laying in the water. the inevitable was upon us! PUKE FEST. but he really listened to his body the whole time and all of it made it into bowls. i made him a little bed next to our bed and he slept there all night. poor little duder.
he's home from school today, resting and listening to a lot of beatles while laying in bed playing his ds.
ETA: ah look at this other very sad photo of a 3 yr old augustine feeling sick!
do any of you use essential oils? i'd love your favorite brands and applications for them if so. i've just gotten into them since last summer or so and i'm totally sold. i've used herbal remedies for most of my adult life but have never ventured into oils really. i totally remember the first time a friend (tara arcade) put peppermint oil and deep blue on my head and my headache vanished. so anywhere here is what i've been using lately:
individual oils
patchouli - perfect for stress management! i either put it on my wrists or diffuse it into the air when i'm feeling anxious. it makes me feel more grounded. it's also good on wounds as a skin repairer but i haven't used it for that yet.
lavender - a few drops on my pillow, back of the neck, or bottoms of my feet helps me sleep. i also use it when i'm tense or feeling anxious on my temples or wrists. if i've got a sore muscle i mix peppermint and lavender and apply it topically.
frankincense - i use frankincense for everything from immunity boosting to a skin treatment at night (i mix it with my night cream). it's good for when i feel scattered and need to focus. i rarely use this aromatically but you can. it's just so darn expensive ($70 for 1 oz) so i typically only put a drop at a time on my wrists. however when we are sick i mix this with oregano oil and on guard and slather it on our feet.
lemon - i don't use this that often but i add a few drops to my cleaning solution whenever i make a batch. this is a big favorite to add to the little diffuser because it's such a happy, uplifting scent. plus i swear it tricks the mind into thinking the house is cleaner than it is.
melaleuca - aka tea tree oil. if melaleuca and oregano oil can't knock out an infection GET THEE TO A HOSPITAL. both taste pretty harsh so it's easier for me to take internally by making up a tiny capsule with a drop of two in vs drinking it in a glass of juice or something. melaleuca is a wicked strong anti-fungal, antibacterial, anti-microbial. i use this on zits or blackheads and POOF. heck i even use this on my dog when he has dry skin and stinks a little!
oregano - i've read that oregano oil has been shown to be just as effective as antibiotics in fighting infections. that has certainly been my feelings about it. i've kind of switched from using ecchinacea to regular doses or slatherings of oregano oil on the bottoms of our feet when we're in a sick season. this is a serious-business immune system supporter. if ever we have something throat-y going on, gargling with a few drops of this will burn out anything going on. emphasis on BURN but it works wonders. diffuse this and it will kill germs in the air.
peppermint - headache relief! slap some of this on your temples and feel any tension in your head just melt away. it has a very sweet smell and when applied topically it has a cooling effect. i diffuse it or put it on my wrists or neck when i'm tired and need a pick me up. you can also put a drop in your mouth for not only fresh breath but to clear our your sinuses.
oil blends (all from DoTerra)
balance - which has spruce, rosewood, frankincense, and blue tansy with fractionated coconut oil. this is for anxiety or feelings of disconnectedness.
breathe - which has laurel leaf, peppermint, eucalyptus, tea tree, lemon and ravensara. whenever anyone in the house has a cough we use this much like vicks vaporub. it smells intoxicating!
deep blue - which has wintergreen, camphor, peppermint, blue tansy, blue chamomile, helichrysum and osmanthus. whenever i've got sore muscles or when i'm starting to feel sick and am achy i put this on. it has a slightly analgesic effect. i give the kids a massage with this when they are acting out of control or are sick and need to go to sleep.
digestzen - ginger, peppermint, tarragon, fennel, caraway, coriander and anise. we used this on the cruise when we had motion sickness. you can use it for anything stomach related. also this smells unreal good! i think it's the fennel.
on guard - which has wild orange essential oil, combined with clove, cinnamon, eucalyptus and rosemary. this is the oil we use the most in our house. it smells wonderful but it's fantastic as an immunity booster and protector from germs. when the kids come home from school lately (there's been a big pinkeye outbreak at augustine's school) i like them to wash their hands and rub a drop into the hands after drying. i mostly put this on the back of our necks but you can add it to your cleaning mix to kill germs and such around the house. diffused this will kill airborne pathogens.
past tense - i've only use this starting this past weekend (from a friend) but i've already put an order in for it. it has wintergreen, lavender, peppermint, frankincense, cilantro, marjoram, roman chamomile, basil, and rosemary. HOLY CRAP GUYS CILANTRO. this is for calming, focusing, and the relief of tension.
i use DoTerra oils almost exclusively but am starting to branch out to other companies as long as they are still 100% essential oils. that is the biggest thing, that they are 100% pure and not diluted with anything synthetic or cut with another oil. DoTerra only uses 100% pure stuff. however i find them pretty expensive so i've been finding some of my lesser used stuff from NOW or aura cacia which is available at my neighborhood co-op. they don't have any of the blends though so i think ill always be a DoTerra customer.
blessed lent to everyone!
last year i gave up facebook for lent and besides the obvious benefits of more purposeful time it had a lot of surprising (to me) spiritual effects too. the quick summary of the process of a 40 day deprivation of social media was that my internal chatter was significantly reduced, improved mental clarity and organization, and what time i was going to spend farting around online was instead spent in quiet meditation, prayer, and/or spiritual study. the main focus of my meditation seemed to revolve around why i felt the need to engage in such obsessive internet connection/hyper connectivity. oh boy you can get deep inside your own psyche when youre trying to dig up that kind of stuff.
so this year i'm doing the same but including twitter in with facebook. it's day 2 of lent and i wonder if i should up my game. i am not struggling at all with temptation to sign on. last year that was a big part of the beginning of the 40 days, the exertion of willpower, etc. right off the bat i notice how my internal monolog is constantly streaming in 140 characters and my mind keeps thinking of clever or interesting things that i would otherwise take and put on twitter or facebook. that makes me feel very sad actually. like, i am seeing how my mind revolves and craves the interaction and input of others. YIKES. that's a scary mirror to gaze into! what lent is to me is channeling a distraction or something else "taking up space in my life" into something spiritual and focusing on God. when i start thinking of [insert distraction/thing you are abstaining from] it reminds me to pray or i take a moment and invite God into that space of discomfort.
one of my favorite podcasts is called "pray as you go" which is a daily bible study. bonus: the folks who do it are british jesuits so they sound super cool and cultured talking about God. i listened to one recently, the one for friday the 24th, and it made me hone my goals/theme for this lent. the podcast, which you should seriously listen to! it's only 12 minutes! gave great insight into the fact that the life of a Christian should be marked by bringing life, unyolking the burdened, justice-loving, etc. it certainly, oddly, reminded me of the 90s films trainspotting with it's "choose life" rhetoric. LOL at that juxtaposition! however it has made me focus more and want more of my being to be marked by life giving, helping, nurturing, serving, loving, community, sharing, etc. so that is my daily prayer now. every day our church circulates a reading and reflection and today someone posted a simple prayer that i am planning to keep with me for the next 40 days. it says:“God, remove from me every defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to you and others.”
amen amen amen
so the next 40 days will be spent in hourly contemplation of how i might be more life giving to those around me. another good insight that i read is to not focus on the "can't have" of the season of Lent, because really it isn't about denial at all. it's about making room to indulge on more of God by making room in ones life by putting something aside. i admit that until now in my life i have only really associated Lent with self denial. what a bad attitude. but hey i'm working on that.
Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit; as it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
mommy, i drew you a tardis. my kids knows me so well.
somehow the time to choose a kindergarten for olive is upon us. i thought i had until the summer but apparently if we are choosing to lottery her into any school besides where our district assigns her our forms have to be in by next week. the choice is really only between two schools: clinton and indianola.
Clinton
pros: top rated elementary school in the city (highly ranked in the whole state!), augustine already goes there so i'm already familiar with the teachers and classmates.
cons: the school is only k-5 which means we'd either have to lottery her (them) for middle school or be content with their district assigned middle school which is kind of meh. the school is about a 1 1/2 miles away.
Indianola
pros: the school is right down the street, it's k-8, it's a good school, it's an "informal teaching style".
cons: moving augustine schools, getting acclimated to a new school/teachers, it's not as good as clinton.
first world problems here folks! both schools are great. we don't have anything bad to say about clinton, far from it! but the middle school issue is a big one. i don't know a ton about our middle school but what i do know is that it's pretty typical public city school. the quality of education would be consistent throughout at indianola. so big picture "good" school vs. incredible elementary and "par" middle school is the conundrum basically.
advice would be fantastico.
well that sucked. i spent 19 of the last 24 hours in bed having mt brains ripped apart with a migraine. do. not. want. i've had migraines since i was in middle school and they never get any easier. i would probably not want to do it less than natural childbirth but not by much. i spent 2-3 hours barfing, then another 10 crying, moaning, changing positions every few minutes, generally wanting to pull the sides of my head apart to relieve the pressure in my head. there is nothing worse than having a migraine and vomiting. that pressure added? GET OUT. i haven't gotten sick with my migraines since i was in high school so this one was a doozy. i'm just that lucky! i was out with friends and as soon as my feet hit the pavement to go into the restaurant i started getting an aura (vision disturbance which looks like what happens when you see a bright light). i knew i had about 20 minutes before things were going to get bad so thankfully they drove me home quick-like. sadly too much time had gone by to make my imitrex work effectively so onward the 19 hours i marched.
my good friend chelsea babysat olive and got augustine from the bus. i had no sense of time at all so at one point i my puke bowl felt full and i just needed david. so i called him and told him to come home after picking up the kids from chelsea's. turns out it was 4:50 PM when i called. apparently i had gotten in bed somewhere around 1 PM. the kids each came in and tenderly loved on me and then i rolled over again and went back to sweating and knotting my hands around my skull. sometime that evening david came in and i could see straight. he emptied my vomit bowl and got me a pear and slices of cheese and tried to get me to eat. the cheese was so good i almost cried. he's such a good guy slopping my puke bucket around and getting me snacks.
we watched tv in the dark for an hour or two and then i went dark again, awaking this morning at 7:30 to get augustine on the bus. i still felt only about 65% but after breakfast i felt a little better. later, upon my lovely friend karen's suggestion i took another imitrex to knock out the remainder of the migraine. so i took another and fell asleep while olive was at school. that did the trick and i am restored, praise Jesus.
i was very happy to be feeling somewhat better by today because i didn't want to miss breakfast with maggie on beatrix's 4th birthday. it was good seeing everyone and sharing food. i hope we get together for her birthday every year and remember her.
in december i filled my celexa prescription at kroger and i usually fill it at giant eagle. i noticed that the pill was made by another manufacturer and instead of being oval shaped it was round. color me hypochondriac but i really feel that this pill is less effective than the ones i've used where the pills have been oval shaped. that doesn't make a lot of sense i realize but for example, the last two nights i've either woken up disoriented and panicky or i've bad obsessive compulsive thoughts to the point that i couldn't sleep at all. my ocd thoughts are nothing harmful (never have been) but rather a single, repetitive song lyric or phrase that i've recently heard. it is quite stressful thinking literally of nothing but a single phrase for an hour or more. whenever this happens i disconnect from all music until it goes away, put a rubber band back on my wrist and start using it (snapping myself whenever intrusive, repetitive thoughts start happening), and now i use DoTerra oils to help me relax and focus. i put on lavender, frankincense, and deep blue daily and before bed, and i also diffuse them throughout the day too. deep blue and frankincense in particular give me a lot of relief. probably just as much as the rubber band. i'm optimistic i can make it through this little flare up but it's really frustrating! im exhausted because my nights are sleepless (or fitful at best) but if i take a nap during the day when i feel okay, then it exacerbates my sleeplessness at night.
it's rather hard to articulate what a post-ocd/anxiety episode feels like. i feel the same way after i travel and then come home: inexplicably weary, slightly if not fully hungover, prone to tearfulness or crying, emotionally eating, my physical body feels jetlagged and without sleep despite how many hours i've logged. trying to keep on this diet/exercise routine has been hard the last two days. i haven't felt up to full blown bodyrock or running on the treadmill so olive and i have been doing at least one 2 mile walk, and i typically do another when she's at school. so 4 miles walking is better than none at all i guess. so it's kind of a bad cycle. i feel exhausted from being ON all night so i don't want to do a full work out. that exhausted, emotional stat makes me more likely to consume comfort food, which probably isn't great for me. junk food makes me more tired. so far i cheated on my diet only once in that yesterday and had a cup of macaroni and cheese and a nutrigrain bar. not too bad obviously but those are typically things i eat only on the weekends.
i feel like im yawning all day but my mind is racing at least an hour before bed. david went out last night and i started feeling amped up as i was getting in bed to read (10:30). i bolted awake at midnight and had a panic attack, alone in the dark. david was home, somewhere in the house but i just sat there like a stone, unsure what to do with my body to help. gosh that feeling is the worst. afraid to move, afraid to stay still, afraid to just keep existing in my own skin, not knowing what would help or hurt. so you just freeze. freeze and hope that by doing nothing, not moving or thinking it won't make it worse. eventually i calmed enough to move and doused myself with oils, took an ativan, and sat on the side of the bed until i felt composed enough to move to the bathroom.
today my goal is to just keep breathing, focus on every little thing i do with purpose, and just keep on going. !
