living in the now

walking through the house at night is a really entertaining way to wake up really fast against your will. im scooting along feeling incredibly confident that no matter how dim the darkness is that i can navigate it without bumping into any of the major items. then all of a sudden it's like im stepping on glass as my foot hits a tractor/thomas the train/race car/sippy cup/etch a sketch followed by a musical instrument with my next step as i hit a squeaky ball/xylophone/drum. does my foot ever strike a soft, plush animal - never. those manage to get put away somehow but the skin piercing wind up robot? it's like a toddler land mine was set up just waiting for mama to attempt a midnight snack or trip to the bathroom.

two nights ago i had the most unhealthy dinner ever. a stouffer's meal (460 calories!!) and like 1/3 of a bag of doritos. i believe when i told maggie this she said "step away from the doritos jenny!". which is so true. i need a dorito intervention! anyways so when i eat some uber garbage like that i always try to compensate for a day or two by eating healthy and so far i've done great since them. yesterday i had a whole grain bagel, tea, whole grain pasta (with 3 meatballs), cantelope, a lean pocket, and my favorite healthy snack peas mixed with cottage cheese. oh then for a late night treat i had two scoops of my favorite ice cream. of course it has cherries in it, what did you expect? david said he thinks i look like i've been "losing a lot of weight". actually he might not have used the words "a lot of" but the sentiment was the same. take it from me gals, don't run out and buy new clothes after you have a baby until you are at least 6+ months post partum. i treated myself to a new skirt from banana republic and now the thing can't stay up on my hips. dang it that thing was expensive! same with the delightful (read: long enough) new jeans. the latter can be fixed with a belt though and im never one to turn down an opportunity to pull out one of our many belt buckles and put them to good use. i weighed myself for the first time in a long long time the other day and was shocked to see it read that i was at or below my weight when i first got pregnant with the babies. i think they say the average woman holds on to 2 lbs per baby she has. so sign me up for a few more in that case then? mama needs to fit into clothes. yeah i know, woe is me. i dont say it to be weird, just saying what's going on. i think it's a combination (in this order) of nursing, making better eating choices in the last 6 months-year, and stress. im not like sickly thin, but i had hoped to hold onto some pregnancy weight this time. heaven forbid i add some curves to my girlish ghoulish figure.

maggie directed me to an online version of my senior yearbook and i did a quick run through it and had a mix of emotions. check out page 8 for a picture of me wearing a wig. david said "well what was the occassion? halloween or something." umm no. just school. oh and if you want a laugh search for my maiden name (hatfield) and see some funnies. mostly i laughed at all of the pictures and funny things people wrote under their senior pictures but then i saw the picture of my old best friend and i on page 46 and felt really depressed. i have no idea why but he won't talk to me anymore despite any effort to reconnect with him. it really breaks my heart. im certainly not one of those folks who live in the past but it was kind of fun to look back at all of those pictures and feel nostalgic.


ETA: my tattoo artist is moving away in a year and i am SO bummed. i never want to get tattooed by anyone but her ever again and now it seems my plans have been foiled! i have at least three tattoos i want to get from her before she skadoos to chicago. two of which will happen, david and i have already discussed it. i hate starting over with new artists. maybe we'll just go back to american proverb. not that we didn't want to go to jeff to begin with but when the business split (they broke up) it would have been bad mojo to patron jeff. oh and if you go to the "my personal fine art" of kat's website on page 26 there is a painting of david and i and on page 33 of her "color tattoos" section is a picture of baby augustine and i.