olive is going through a mini nursing strike. i know this is common behavior for a 9 month old but i can't help but feel frustrated. i also think that someday this period of my life will be over, that i won't nurse babies anymore. ever. (david is undecided on whether he wants more children) avert your eyes if this ain't your thang but i plan on letting her self wean. i think the average weaning age on a global scale is what, 4? in america i believe 80% of women are using artificial milk by 6 weeks. oh and just read between the lines and guess what else we're dealing with at this end. ow ow
groovie ghoulies - she's my vampire girl
i wholly believe that there are too many options out there as far as education goes. we are approaching the time when auggie "should" be entering into school and i feel awfully conflicted about it. conflicted is the wrong word because that would imply battling resolutions but really, i am nowhere near knowing how i feel. here are things that i know about myself - i dont feel comfortable living in the burbs, i want to be part of solutions and not contributing the problems (meaning taking good kids with good family support out of the public system), but im also scared of my children not receiving the best education they can just so we can "be part of something", know what i mean? both david and i have private school experiences and education wise they were fantastic, especially mine. i learned more in one year of private education than the three in a public, and i went to a more than decent high school. (read: suburban) so there's that for you, but it totally smacks of elitism to me despite the logic of giving my kids the best education possible. then there's the homeschool option, which to most, self included, seems like the one that most jives with our family beliefs and parenting style. i greatly doubt my ability to teach my children everything they need to know in order to "make it" in the world. and another thing, i doubt my ability to network them so they develop well enough socially. if i ruled the world i'd homeschool the kids until middle school, where is where i feel most of the crucial social things begin. any new venture seems scary before you try it and nothing says that i can't give homeschooling a good whirl and if it doesn't work out we put the kiddos in school. i know i could teach but could they learn from me? today auggie and i spent a lot of time on this great website my friend linked me to called enchanted learning and afterward i was like "dang, this might not be as hard as i think!" but maybe im being naive? when i review the curriculum standards for grades i dont feel very intimidated but i also don't want my kid being that homeschool kid. preschool is looming over my head. i dont feel augustine is old enough to be gone for long periods of time and under the supervision of someone else other than david or i (or immediate, responsible family members). my other big fear is "group thinking" which is totally unavoidable in school, heck any group for that matter. i will never teach my children to rebel, but i do not ever want them to go along with any idea just because. i feel this is what school is about - i tell you, you tell it back to me, i give you a gold star. that isn't good enough for my children but i feel powerless to take control over it. bucking the system isn't my thing (at least not in this arena), providing opportunities to expand my children's hearts and minds is.