my dreams have been a source of annoyance, frustration, and oddly inspiration for me lately. ive talked about this many times before but i have really vivid dreams, some of which i feel are from God, some i also feel are modes of attack. i pretty much only have two types of "bad" dreams - those that tear down my marriage and those that incite panic about the safety of augustine. they are always very specific and graphic, the type of dream you wake up with and the emotions of which follow you around for days. i have such a love/hate relationship with sleep. i view the event as much more than a simple thing which your body requires, it is very pleasurable and stealing an hour or two away for myself and snoozing is one i covet hardcore. but when your dreams effect your waking reality i have to pull back a little. (as if i can control whether or not i have a confusing, agitating dream by sleeping less often or something?) anyways, last night's dream was a DOOZY and we'll im fighting my Flesh about it today, trying to keep what i saw and felt in the corner, under lock and key. i do not pray enough for safe passage of my heart through sleeping. i need to add that to my prayer list.
can i just say how much i love our veggie car? i don't talk about it that often but man, during the summer when we are going, going, going we spend like nothing on gas! on average i think we need to fill up the diesel tank about once every three - four weeks, which is incredible. we drove about 150 miles this weekend and didn't spend a dime! a few weeks ago a guy stopped me on traffic and asked me if my car was for sale and wanted to talk about the fact that it ran on waste veggie oil. (there is a sticker on it that proclaims as much) it was a funny exchange, him trying to get me to sell him my car sitting at a stop light. he kept yelling (but in a funny way) "part with it, baby! come on!" i reeeeally hope the man calls us back soon about the wagon up near mount vernon because now that we've sort of talked about it, it definitely makes sense to have a second car. it's in God's hands but uhh please?
summer is so busy and im looking back fondly on the winter lull of sitting around munching on popcorn and snuggling under blankets reading books and watching mindless tv every day. which is funny because at the time i was maddened by the monotony! oh brain, why do you fail me with your inconsistencies? you do not even want to see my google calendar. it is a patchwork of color and markers and to-dos. this coming weekend i am working the farmers market booth for Justice Gardens and then we are headed up to my dear friend jeff and michelle chapin's farm for the day for a garden club meeting, possibly even going camping for the night. they have a 43 acre farm that they are slowly building earthships on, for them and a few other couples. going to do an organic, communal farm. im so jealous but also i dont think i could ever give up the city and community i have here. i see it being a place where we spend a lot of time in our lives though. i love love love michelle (and jeff & sunny of course too!) and we've been talking a lot and spending lots of good time together lately which has been incredibly edifying. michelle just put in dreads so im going to live vicariously through her - i've always wanted them but i realize i am not the type of person to rock them. a good head of nappies is awesome though. so anyways we are caravanning up to their land after we work the farmers market booth together and i am stoked.
then next week the kids start gynmastics camp!
david and i are pacifists, does that surprise you? anyways we've been talking off and on for oh, a year or so about what that means, digging deeper into it all, stretching ourselves, shrinking ourselves, making the definition personal and all that. one thing we've been wondering/praying/talking about is what our christian response should be to violence being committed against us or our family or someone else. is violence EVER okay? (self preservation? etc) i mean it is very easy to sit here and be at peace when no one is doing anything to me, or walking this line in a passive way vs an active. my buddy brandt linked a very comprehensive essay called "What Would You Do If Someone Attacked Your Family?" that i really enjoyed. if you read it, give me your thoughts!