Monday, December 21, 2009

"when i am thirsty, you are the fountain"

i think i might be coming out of my funk/depression and perhaps i have noted that it might have been/be hormonally related. i say this because for about 2-3 months i've felt really low, have had intense hypoglycemic reactions, my hair has been falling out more than what i would consider typical or seasonal, and i've had some acne. i've never had acne in my entire life and yet for 2 months now i've had a crop of blemishes across my chin that come and go with some regularity. my hair fell out so frequently that we had to call in a plumber to snake our bathtub last week! it wasn't that noticeable because i was taking showers and our drain is open so you don't see an accumulation around the holes, but i've taken a few baths lately and felt oddly freaked out by the number of hairs i've seen floating around. (awesome vision, eh?) so i've been sort of linking the situation of my depression with the possibility of something physical actually going on (versus, MY EMOTIONS HAVE GONE ROGUE!) and i now feel there is a relationship. as im starting to feel better i've noted less hypoglycemia (whereas when i felt most depressed i was having episodes several times per day, now it's almost always fended off before they happen), my blemishes are fading, and well the hair thing is hard to really quantify but i feel optimistic. now granted i could genuinely be better at controlling my diet and anticipating my hypoglycemic reactions, regulating that has helped my skin AND! my skin has been giving me the finger since i wore full face make up at Por Vida on halloween so it could be related that that, and well i dont know about my hair falling out. oh well. the point is i'm feeling a bit better.

yesterday was a hard day in the sigler house. lots of grumpy children (and adults) so after a tense dinner david was like "jenny, let's open christmas presents!" and i was all \o/. last year, after all of the hullabaloo of the holidays we reflected that we had dropped the ball on communicating the true spirit of christmas to our kids. we went to a christmas eve service at our church but meh. we kind of phoned it in. so on that note, before we opened the presents this year we sat around and read the bible, talked about God and how blessed we were. i sat on the couch wiping tears out of my eyes hearing augustine, who is 4 1/2 show the first sparks of comprehension of what david and i believe. i of course want him to follow us in that faith in Jesus but naturally can't force him. it just made me really emotional to hear him tell us what he thought about God, Jesus, Christmas, etc. we invest in our children and for us, we are investing in faith - that is our family business that we want him to inherit. oh, and david got me sims for wii. remember the sims intervention of 2k3? (david pretty much had to make me promise i would never play it again because i was a total addict) and here he is bringing alcohol to the AA meeting! clearly, he wants me to fail in my recovery!! (YAY!)

also, unrelated but totally relevant because i say it is, rosalie baxter is awesome.

olive found my lipstick. awesome

(augustine is in the back row in the middle) so i finally had "the moment". the moment that i've been waiting for since getting pregnant basically, where you go to your kid's first whatever and they are on stage and they start waving at your and saying HI MOM and maybe every one else thinks it's annoying but you think it is the sweetest thing in the world. actually during the program one of the teachers was talking about how the school is selling books and videos as a fund raiser and she holds one up and augustine yells MOM! IT'S A COOKBOOK! YOU'LL LIKE IT! and i gushed because he knows me so well & thinks about me like that.

yah. cute


Anonymous said...

ha ha, so the whole time I was reading your first paragraph I thought FOR SURE you were going to go, I'm pregnant! and I was all prepared to be giddy as shit. But no. It's ok though! I'm so glad you are feeling a bit better. :)

jenny mae. said...

mom, is that you? lol :)

Corin said...

Hahahaha...I though that too! Oh well :p But I'm really glad you're feeling better and that you got "that moment" with Augustine. I day dream about that all the time! Merry Christmas to your beautiful family and God Bless!

Heather Evans said...

I have had some funk/depression for the past 3 months.. unfortunately due to pregnancy! (I thought I was supposed to be happy!?) And I also have acne that is making me feel not so good about myself to add on to all the other emotions.. :) It isn't easy being a woman, is it?!

I seriously love hearing about your interaction with your kids! the love/compassion you have for your kids is just beautiful! :) When I read your blog, it makes me look forward to those special interactions, and helps me get through this hard time!

p.s. the video of Olive is PRECIOUS!

Anonymous said...

As for the acne and hair loss, I've experienced both recently as well. Our kids are about the same ages and I think we're very close in age too. Google "androgen excess" and see if any of it relates to you. One article I read talked about hypoglycemia as well. I had my thyroid tested because the hair loss was so bad. But the test cmae back normal. I got bangs to help with the thinning hair issue, and I try to drink tons of water and wear the least amount of makeup possible and that seems to be helping with the acne. Love the vid of Olive. Merry Christmas to you and David and the kids! I'll pray for blessings on you all.
Jenny Hoffman (ya know, Dave's cousin! :))