100 things

1. i wish i had blue eyes, but mine are really green with a ring of brown inside. i never know what color to say they are so i just say hazel. no matter what single-word, standard description i give it feels like a lie.
2. approximately every 4 yrs i morph from loving tea into loving coffee and vice versa. i just recently slipped back into coffee after a strong 4 year run almost without a single cup!
3. i will go to great lengths to avoid sitting on a warm toilet seat (shudder)
4. i couldn't live (ha) without my cast iron skillet and mixer. it's and oldie (1940s) but it's faithful. **ETA david got me a new one for my birthday!! **
5. i cannot be convinced otherwise, no matter what logic points in the opposite direction, that being left handed says something about ones personality.
6. i can't tell you how many times after watering the garden/flowers i've tossed aside the hose only to have it land handle down and spray me. no really, it happens several times per week in the summer and i never see it coming!
7. one of my weird goals in life is to get a bingo in scrabble
8. desiderata is my favorite poem
9. i try hard to turn my nose up at fast food but i just can't. it's convenient and gross but delicious and satisfying too.
10. the scariest moment of my life was being run off the road (by someone whom we suspect was a drunk driver) while i was pregnant with augustine.
11. i get most of my news from the colbert report + the daily show with john stewart
12. baking is more theraputic (and cheaper!) than counseling.
13. it thrills me to fall asleep holding hands with olive but if david so much as touches my feet with his i jolt awake like someone has broken in the house.
14. i am not very encouraging i feel
15. if given the option i will always step into an outfit/shirt/etc. rather than pull it over my head. many a' neck hole has been stretched out by this habit.
16. just last year i stopped believing in aliens. (but xfiles is still my all-time favorite show)
17. my favorite memory of my dad is the morning of my wedding. he crawled into bed with me and sort of sniffled a little bit, then headed downstairs to make breakfast for all of my bridesmaids and me.
18. random talent: the ability to recognize the voices of actors who do cartoon
19. i often picture a room upside down when im in it. i imagine what it would be like to walk around if the room were flipped.
20. someday (soon) i hope to build a relationship with a sustainable, organic farm
21. when entering a building on a sunny day i still reach up to take of my "sunglasses" only to realize for the one millionth time that i actually wear glasses.
22. every year on my birthday we put the christmas tree up
23. i'd love to start a real record collection but i dont want to be dubbed a hipster or look like im trying too hard. really they just sound better i think.
24. i often miss being as politically active as i once was. i never pictured myself not being "out there" where activism is concerned.
25. when i bid on something particularly unique on say, ebay and the price goes back and forth between one or more bidders i think how great it would be to meet or talk to whomever is bidding against me. surely i would have a lot in common with someone who wants this or that unique item as i do.
26. my favorite thing about david is that he never ever asks "what's in it for me?" about anything.
27. i get embarrassed seeing people lick envelopes, likewise people should not lick beaters in mixed company either.
28. still, augustine and i agree that licking the beaters is the best part of baking.
29. i get very stressed out while getting my haircut. something about being unable to leave if i had to without bad consequences. this is why i get my haircut by a fellow anxiety sufferer
30. on david and i's first real date (cornerstone 97) he gave me a flower he picked out of a field. i still have it.
31. i read at least a book a week.
32. marionettes & ventriloquist dolls are utterly terrifying to me. i hate them. i hate them. i hate them.
33. if i were born a boy i think my name was going to be jesse. im glad im not a boy
34. random talent - i am a really great fire builder.
35. on a side street near the library someone has my exact same car, identical color and everything. i have fantasies about driving by and see the driver and strike up a funny conversation about our identical cars and muse about how much we love old mercedes. then one day the perfect moment for this to happen (the driver was just getting into the car as i was driving past) and i chickened out. better to live the fantasy then to get a blank "so....?? what?" stare from him.
36. i have a photographic memory. if i go somewhere once ill remember how to get there my entire life. in general, my memory is amazing.
37. my internal monologue swears a lot - though i don't swear at all!
38. i always walk up the stairs two at a time.
39. four of my friends from high school are now out of the closet and i fear they think i have some problem with them because im a christian. (it's a non-issue)
40. i think i might be depressed if i had to live somewhere with no seasonal change.
41. usually i can pick out almost every ingredient in whatever i am eating.
42. i greatly desire to live in a communal setting with other christians. on a farm would be even better but in the city would be great too.
43. one of the most embarrassing moments of my life was when my dad caught me dancing in my room when i was in middle school (deep in one of those "angry, im-too-cool-for-you phases)
44. i feel most complete when im spending quality time with my girlfriends. sadly this doesn't happen often enough AT ALL.
45. ones christmas tree potentially tells me almost everything i need to know about your funny personality.
46. and attending your wedding.
47. as does the books on ones bookshelf.
48. and rest assured if i come to your home i peek at your bookshelf.
49. before i was married and dated around, i had no radar for if people liked me unless it was VERY obvious.
50.there is a place that david and i call "shady lane". it's in the middle of nowhere, down a road no one has any reason going down really. we found it one day driving from marysville to dayton. it was what appears to me a large empty field with a driveway lined with beautiful mature trees, but at the end of the driveway there is no home. we laugh and dream about buying it and building our dream house and that makes me love him so much. we gave our friend tom directions there once and he painted a series of paintings based on it and gave us one. (here is a photo of shady lane that he took too)
51. i feel that God has let me in on certain details of my children's adulthood. i also feel i am not supposed to talk about them with anyone, that it is something just for me.
52. my first crush was on mcgueyver. (im still bias against his tv nemesis played by willem defoe. even when he played Jesus in the last temptation of christ, i just kept thinking of how angry he used to make me when he played murdoch)
53. i never want to own another diamond (heirloom items exempt)
54. for the first few months david and i dated i would get so nervous before our dates i would puke (or nearly puke). once, i spilled my very expensive dinner on the sidewalk during a date. he was so kind about it. i just liked him so much that my stomach went into knots! i still kinda like him but no more barfing ;)
55. i think of my mother in law truly like another mother.
56. im deep in a red phase right now. last weekend i went to a store to purchase some new clothes and when i got to the dressing room i noted that all but one thing were the exact same poppy red!
57. as a baby my nickname was "growler". olive growls exactly like i did as a baby. auggie never made any such noises. this makes me love her even more (if that is possible). like we have a secret inside joke or something.
58. when i was single and in college i picked out two baby names that i thought i'd keep under my hat for the future (simon and asher). both sounded absolutely ridiculous with my married last name (sigler) and were vetoed. boo hiss.
59. my middle name (mae) was named after my great grandma maybelle. i always wished i'd named a girl mabel but it seemed too boastful or something naming a kid after myself.
60. sometimes i think my anxiety is actually a product of a spiritual gift of intense sensitivity to people's burdens.
61. i have three celebrity crushes and that embarrasses me. they are all mild of course.
62. many times logic is overridden by emotion with me. like i have a hard time accepting "necessary evil" in the world. things like war, abortion, childhood illness, even hunting makes me cry.
63. i wish i had finished college even though im "just" a stay a home mom and at this point wouldn't even be using my degree.
64. i can type as fast as i can talk
65. as a teenager i used to sleep with a pen in my hand and a pad of paper under my pillow. if i'd drop the pen and it woke me up i'd write down the dream i was having. i read about salvador dali doing this with a spoon dropping onto a pot and it fascinated me.
66. random talent - i can use the restroom REALLY fast
67. even though ive never done it nor will ever do it, i've always wondered what it's like to slap someone in the face or get into a fight.
68. if i really listened to my heart i'd probably stop eating meat, but it's delicious and i'm a bit of a slave to that.
69. i love everything about old churches. worn pews, dusty hymnals, fantastic stained glass windows, church bells ringing, the whole she-bang.
70. my best friend from high school doesn't speak to me any more (reasons unknown - perhaps see #49?). it really breaks my heart. once i sent him a well thought out mix cd for christmas with no response. it was like a dagger. i quit trying to contact him after another post card. last month i cried in the car alone when i heard a song come on that reminded me of our friendship. i don't really know why this rejection bums me out so hard. i guess i thought he was the one friend that would be there forever.
71. im deathly afraid of lightening.
72. my car's name is sadie. it's the first car ive ever owned that felt like "ME". i don't think i would feel this way if it ran on a conventional fuel but that is not the only reason sadie feels so homey to me.
73. the first job i ever got hired at (donatoes pizza), i never showed up. i still feel guilty.
74. when i meet someone the first thing i notice about their appearance is their eyebrows. even children. olive has great eyebrows, i liked her right away.
75. i never want to live where i cannot hear trains pass.
76. no matter who wins i cry my eyes out when the athletes receive medals during the olympics. every time!
77. carbon paper is one of my favorite smells in the world. when i put the house on the market my realtor tore a page of it off of some documents and i was a little to quick to suggest that ill throw it away for him. really i just wanted to sniff it a little bit. is that weird? uhh yeah.
78. something on this list is a lie.
79. almost every week i end up chasing down the recycling truck.
80. i am addicted to arizona green tea (in a can). no matter how many i have at home i still am tempted and/or buy another when i see it at a store. this has led to a HUGE stockpile at certain points in my history.
81. long term goals - learn to sew well enough to wear something i made in public, grow a multi-seasonal garden every year, learn to can and quilt and make paper and homemade pasta and soap, go to europe with my family, teach my kids always always about Jesus, open a bakery, live communally with fellow believers. oh wait i already said that last one.
82. i was in college before i started using the word "livid" correctly. i thought it meant happy!! (and i wondered why my ex-boyfriend-that-i-was-still-friends-with never spoke to me again after i told him how livid i was about his new girlfriend.)
83. it is very therapeutic to make a load of bread from scratch. sometimes you just need to man-handle and beat up some dough. some people shoot guns, some people do yoga, i bake stuff.
84. i am awful at wrapping presents. if you received a wrapped gift from me/us im just going to fess up - david wrapped it.
85. i dont believe in making new years resolutions. every day should be an opportunity to change
86. animals who's termination i have directly been involved with - a raccoon i hit at 2 am near avery rd., two birds on an overpass in high school (at the same time!!), a squirrel in college i hit coming home one weekend, a white fish i caught on vacation with my family in wisconsin, a deer on the way to a midwife appointment
87. im probably too sentimental for my own good.
88. sometimes i wonder how i make it through the day on as little fluids as i drink.
89. things i could do everyday - eat dried cherries, drink tea&coffee (but not at the same time), eat my dad's spaghetti, chop onions, take a nap, play scrabble
90. every year on my birthday i pray it snows for the first time

... and like beth who inspired me to do this post. i will also end with the classic "inside the actors studio" 10 questions

91. What is your favorite word? lamb (or moss...)
92. What is your least favorite word? the Lords name spoken in vain.
93. What turns you on? gratitude
94. What turns you off? ego
95. What sound or noise do you love? the sound of david's key in the door
96. What sound or noise do you hate? children swearing
97. What is your favorite curse word? shizz
98. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? a pastry chef or florist
99. What profession would you not like to do? anything having to do with celebrities or sick children
100. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? well done, good and faithful servant.