Wednesday, August 20, 2008

coming clean

i've got to get something off of my chest. my kid is a hitter. not just a hitter but a pummeling, pushing, dominating, jack-you-up toddler. she looks so sweet and innocent but she can take your kid down to chinatown at the drop of a hat.

watch the following video and see for yourself. she was sitting there (this is at COSI today) very sweetly playing on a push/ride on toy and then for no reason at all well, you'll see.



I AM EMBARRASSED TO NO END BY THIS! i don't know how to make her stop! i am pretty nice to be around i'd like to think. david and i are far far from violent, anger spewing adults so where does this behavior come from? once at the playground auggie got a little physical with a kid (nothing serious, just toddler stuff) and i heard the parent tell their child that my kid was just a jerk and not to play with them. this was my face --> !!!! <-- but with olive, well she kind of is! she is lovable and i really don't think she is trying to be mean, i think she is a just a physical kid who is a second child to a physical older brother. augustine and olive can be seen laying feet to feet on our couch squealing with delight as they pummel each other with wild legs flailing. this is their version of fun! it isn't a good day until one of them has been smooshed face first into our hardwood floors or busts their lip on a slide (olive, yesterday!) but again, this is how my kids have fun together and it doesnt come from a mean place when they play this way. so i think she just isn't used to the softer side of things. i mean, clearly. watch that video!

9 comments:

Kristin Jo said...

I really want to watch the deathmatch showdown, but the video is not working?

Kristin Jo said...

okay--now it works. Thats some serious sumo, man! I would not worry about it...it happens. She's just ruff&tumble!

Ashley Malefyt said...

I can't give you any advice, because I'm dealing with the same issue. My son likes to bully a little boy that I babysit - there's no stopping him. He thinks it's funny. Luckily for us it's only this one little boy so far - and we're hoping it's just a personality conflict. But, you're right - she'd make a good wrestler!

Amber said...

oh goodness...first things first. She looks like she has a smile on her face before the tackle. Which means me I think I MIGHT be able to offer you a little hope.
Solomon was a bruiser...To the point that I would dread and try to completely avoid all situations that would include another child. He started this at about 17 months or so and until right about the time that he turned two. Now he is pretty sweet and tender with kids...thank goodness. My best friends daughter started beating up Solomon around 18 months too...so maybe just maybe, (and I am pretty confident int his) she will grow out of it. Especially since she isn't looking mean or angry when she jumps someone.
It is SUPER frustrating and really disappointing...and most of all horrifically embarrassing!!!! But I bet...if you give her a few months...she will be a lot more gentle.

meridith said...

i know what she's doing is wrong but how come she has to be so dang cute doing everything! including hitting?

allison said...

I agree with Amber. When my little man was 2 (get this) he got kicked out of a daycare. Well, not kicked out so much as I took him out b/c I was so embarassed by his hitting and dreaded picking up and hearing what he did. The thing was, he never hit when he was angry, mostly when very happy or excited - like he had soooo much feeling in him, it shot out his arms. He is now a rough and tumble NONHITTER lover man of 3 1/2

The Aspenberg Family said...

Hey Jenny! So so enjoy reading your blogs!! My Bryson is 13 months almost 14 and he is quite the little bully, he will go up to madyson who is almost 4 and hit her for no reason or if she is trying to be sweet to him and kiss him and what not he will push her away! I think it could be the age! Or could it be born with a sinful nature thing? I dont know but I do remember Madyson doing it to a degree mainly NOt sharing! Although I can't offer any advice but I think it's pretty normal!

Maria. said...

I'll say that David and I had MORE THAN our fair share of fighting when we were younger, sure some of it is just siblings but I also think that some of it came from mom being too tired to discipline us. If she'd been more consistent with us, we'd have stopped it before we got to junior high and high school. Consistency is really hard work, though.

The last time I attended a playgroup, Paige was met at the door by a young boy who full bodied tackled her and tried to bite her. Throughout the time we were there, he singled her out and 2 more times and attacked her by pulling her off her chair by her hair. I was really disappointed in the playgroup leader, she saw it but never addressed it. The poor mother looked exhausted.

Discipline is hard work, she's not too young for it either. Annie was attacking Paige at Olive's age too. When we pointed out how it hurt others when she treated them that way and was disciplined she began to understand it wasn't right. It is especially hard when you are the only one around to enforce it.

I know that the Lord can reveal creative ways to deal with her and Auggie. He knows them better than we do and He knows what will work best with them.

jenny mae. said...

what i've found works best is talking to her about not pushing or hitting right before we go somewhere. of course in the moment it happens there is an immediate correction (a firm NO or a hand swat). i think it's just going to take some time.