Sunday, February 08, 2009

rebelliousness & i love my church


spray bottle & food coloring & snow = GOOD TIMES


outside of my own nature i find my daughter to be the most consistently rebellious force in my world. i mean she is the epitome of curiosity and defiance. yes she is just a wee one year old but seriously. SERIOUSLY that girl! if you give her an inch she will take miles and miles. i am sitting here, should be working, watching david, augustine, and olive ride their bikes in the alley behind our apartment. olive consistently tries to quietly sneak down the alley to the next street while augustine and david and horsing around. good thing she is slow on the trike and the thing squeaks and creaks as all get out. im surprised ive never put a leash on that one! ok not really, i wouldnt do that but still!


im working on being more um forward (?) about my spiritual gifts. not just using them internally as a conversation between God and i but doing outward things. i mean there is a time for self edification and growth but by and large i think the main purpose of gifts is to unify the body of believers. God sure had a sense of humor giving me an outgoing, cheery personality and panic attacks. i am very blessed that the latter has not diminished my joy about enjoying people. anyways so i woke up this morning at like 4 am and instantly felt i had to pray for a certain person and that the Lord was telling me that they were struggling with control issues with food and it was escalating into a full blown eating disorder. immediately i was like "oh no! do not make me talk to this person about this!!" (it was not someone i was incredibly close with, not that it would have been easy to work into a conversation with even the closest of girlfriends!) so during prayer time someone goes up and grabs the microphone and says that they feel someone in the service is struggling with control issues, is dealing with food issues. i started crying, knowing that God was not only speaking to this person through two people, but was now making the conversation i felt i needed to have with this person afterward that much more comfortable for us both. she went forward for prayer and afterward we hugged and got all teary eyed together. it was amazing! i am so so so thankful that i go to a church where people can be just raw and honest about their mess of a life. i mean we are all weird, flawed, quirky, wrong-doing, struggling, unpeaceful people who need help. that help can come in so many ways - friends, family, books, counseling, love but for me and really i do believe for the entire world the answer is Jesus! my church (vineyard - specifically central vineyard) is the only church ive ever felt safe in. safe with friends who like Love me, care about me in ways that i have never been cared for. it is the only church ive ever gone to that i feel really embodies what Jesus is about - community, charity, social justice, freedom, generosity, sharing our lives. it is beyond churches which "come down on you" with a list of rules and social mores that exclude rather than include. dont get me wrong they preach things that challenge you, but it is way more than pointing a finger in somebody's face.


omg people are going to stop reading this blog! i can feel it! im that freaky jesus girl!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am not religious and have struggled with my faith for many years but for some reason your posts bring me peace. It is nice to know that there are churches really supporting the needs of people out there and no, you don't seem like a crazy church lady! thanks

Katherine said...

Our pastor this morning was actually talking about spiritual gifts and said that the Spirit gives gifts THROUGH us, not TO us--meaning that whatever gifts we have are meant to build up the church. I thought that was neat, and I think it's awesome that your faith is growing to where you can share the gifts God has given you.

amy said...

people read your blog because you are open and honest. and awesome :)

Happy Hippie said...

Awesome post! Isn't God great?! He doesn't force us to use our gifts. He sets us up so as to ease us into them and their use. How merciful is God that he also prepared the person you were to speak to before you spoke to her?! Speaking as a recovering anorexic, it is difficult to listen to people when they try to talk to you about your disorder. One puts up a wall and you don't hear what the messenger is saying because in your head you are thinking,” they’re just jealous because I have great self control. I don't have a problem; I’ve got this under control." It's sick, I know. That person has to really be ready to hear the voice of help. God obviously made that happen. I am so glad he prompted you to war spiritually for this person! Eating disorders are shear misery. I think it is awesome you are making yourself even more available to God. Your kids will benefit so much from your example!
Ps.I agree, Vineyard Central is pretty rad!

jenny mae. said...

you guys are just a heap of compliments! thank you.

happy hippie - you said "that person has to really be ready to hear the voice of help" and i feel that applies to SO many people in so many walks of life!

Momof2boys said...

Jenny, I like everybody else, find your blogs inspiring to say the least. However, when you talk about Olive and her personality and being so rebellious at such a young age...I sympathize. Austin is so assertive and rebellious at 9months old that I have no idea how I'm going to handle him when he's older...lol. Good luck and let me in on the secret to sanity...lol

JVdoubledown said...

I'm not religious either, however I love your blog and seeing what god brings to your life! Thanks for sharing it with strangers like me!

Hannah said...

Just have to say that you being the freaky Jesus girl is one of my favorite things about this blog!
(as I was writing that I realized there are SO many reasons, including *spiritual gift talk *natural birth *gardening *general awesomeness)