Thursday, May 07, 2009

of being a mother


the kids and i love ska, what can i say.


my good, nay GREAT friend michelle came over this morning and we got our nails dirty making seed bombs. are you sick of me talking about these and other gardening topics lately? i can't help it! spring is an intense time for busting out of my winter shell of no-growing! we are going to bomb columbus on saturday after we volunteer down at a local community garden. i am really glad the kids are going to come too (not that i have a choice!). i really want to involve them in the volunteering and in the seed bombing.

so one thing that michelle and i got talking about today was a lot of stuff relating to being a mother. specifically how we always think the grass is always greener in someone elses life and family. we look at another woman and think wow, she has it all together or something like that. i definitely have mothers that i look up to in different areas. i admire women who are crafty/sew or who homeschool, have more patience than i do, make everything from scratch, on and on. it's like i see my own failings and immediately i sense i'm the only one who feels [blank], [blank], or [blank]. and surely so and so has the patience of a saint and the home-tidiness of martha stewart all while juggling more responsibilities than i do. i'm just being honest, if you look my direction and think the grass is greener it probably isn't. it's just another life that is just as busy, just as frustrating and joyful, full and sparse, full of dreams and disappointments. i am happy to belong to a group of women who are, at least on the road to, being real about their dirty laundry, frustrations, anger, shortcomings, and depression when it comes to being a mom. it's a big fat lie to think anyone is alone in this or any other situation of life. like, i find it funny? that's a bad word but i can't think of anything else - when someone tells me they look up to me as a mom. i'm not being self deprecating here, i have strengths and values for sure - im just not too inclined to have an illusion that i, or my experiences or parenting/life style, are anything particularly unique. so i guess overall what i'm saying is don't worry about anyone else. hi, easier said than done yes? there's nothing wrong with being inspired but comparing yourself to a standard, which by all accounts will be a false representation (however unintentional) of the person, will get you nowhere

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is refreshing to hear women talk bravely and honestly about the realities of our lives and mothers, wives, and friends. I really believe that our attitude depends on our outlook and things may seem "better" but as an outsider looking into another's world we only see what the other person is putting out there. Thanks for this insight!

toeczar said...

Hi there...I've been reading this blog forever now and I've been too shy to say hello. But this video of your kids CRACKS ME UP!I HAVE to tell you how amazing they are! So cute..I love how Olive dashes in at the middle.

-Tarleton

Momof2boys said...

wow you really hit the nail on the head with the looking at other mother's and thinking wow i wish i could be like her!!! GUILTY AS CHARGED here! i have done it so many times, to you, my best friend ronnie, karen, your mom, my mom, eric's mom...just about any mom out there when at that time they seem to have what i don't have just right then...not that i don't have it all....just maybe not right then. people have told me they do it to me...but when they do i, like you, laugh at least on the inside if nothing else...you are so right...the grass maybe greener in some areas of their life but more likely than not they have spread the manure on that grass to get it green...meaning that they have been in my shoes and it can be quite stinky at times...lol

Momma Bear said...

Love this!

Anonymous said...

Ska or Polka??? :) Mom

KBH said...

I'm a total "grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side-I-wanna-be-that-mom", mom. Talking openly and honestly about motherhood is so refreshing and helps us to feel so much more connected.

Queen Bee said...

that is funny that you posted that video as a friend of mine & i were just saying a few weeks ago how we have yet to meet a preschooler who didn't love ska!

prenticefamily said...

I really needed to read this today. Thank you for sharing and being so honest!

Knitting Nana said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I have been jumping around on the page and laughed at the dancing and cried at Olives birth. Stumbled onto here somehow from my daughter=in=law Hannah telling me about Justice Gardens...this is all great. Makes me want to move to Columbus...wait I live in Columbus, ha, I mean Columbus, Indiana that is. Keep it up your writings and work are inspiring. Diane