Thursday, May 07, 2009
of being a mother
the kids and i love ska, what can i say.
my good, nay GREAT friend michelle came over this morning and we got our nails dirty making seed bombs. are you sick of me talking about these and other gardening topics lately? i can't help it! spring is an intense time for busting out of my winter shell of no-growing! we are going to bomb columbus on saturday after we volunteer down at a local community garden. i am really glad the kids are going to come too (not that i have a choice!). i really want to involve them in the volunteering and in the seed bombing.
so one thing that michelle and i got talking about today was a lot of stuff relating to being a mother. specifically how we always think the grass is always greener in someone elses life and family. we look at another woman and think wow, she has it all together or something like that. i definitely have mothers that i look up to in different areas. i admire women who are crafty/sew or who homeschool, have more patience than i do, make everything from scratch, on and on. it's like i see my own failings and immediately i sense i'm the only one who feels [blank], [blank], or [blank]. and surely so and so has the patience of a saint and the home-tidiness of martha stewart all while juggling more responsibilities than i do. i'm just being honest, if you look my direction and think the grass is greener it probably isn't. it's just another life that is just as busy, just as frustrating and joyful, full and sparse, full of dreams and disappointments. i am happy to belong to a group of women who are, at least on the road to, being real about their dirty laundry, frustrations, anger, shortcomings, and depression when it comes to being a mom. it's a big fat lie to think anyone is alone in this or any other situation of life. like, i find it funny? that's a bad word but i can't think of anything else - when someone tells me they look up to me as a mom. i'm not being self deprecating here, i have strengths and values for sure - im just not too inclined to have an illusion that i, or my experiences or parenting/life style, are anything particularly unique. so i guess overall what i'm saying is don't worry about anyone else. hi, easier said than done yes? there's nothing wrong with being inspired but comparing yourself to a standard, which by all accounts will be a false representation (however unintentional) of the person, will get you nowhere