2011 is going to be awesome.
first, i always give the new year a title - sort of a goal or mantra to try to live up to. 2010 was "the year of giving up (the illusion of) control over people". that went well enough. i made some positive moves towards just living in my own skin and not letting my feathers get so ruffled by people i perceived as being irritating/pushy/strange or whatever. this of course will be a life-long goal that i will not perfect this side of Heaven. this year i've already come up with the moniker of "2011, the year of giving up responsibility." obviously this does not mean i will be giving up Real Responsibilities. what i really mean is giving up what i perceive to be my role in forming others opinions or actions. naturally i have influence, but control? no way. what this means is added responsibility that my actions are not inciting anger, lust, confusion, division, etc. but after that? a persons deductions, reactions, and actions are their own. anxiety tells a person to put their head down, don't give someone a reason to flip out on them, live at peace with everyone! and not because you are really a peacemaker, but because you fear the fragility of your own self.
hello, my name is Jenny and i am a fragile person.
i want 2011 to be marked by bravery. most importantly bravery expressed by giving up my fears of people's reactions. i want to come to a place where i can say "no really, it's not me. IT'S YOU." when someone flips me off while driving or puffs themselves up or is incredibly negative. this in no way should be interpreted that i am blameless in negative situations, far from it. so i will also add to my list of life goals, continued and increased wisdom to discern how my actions/reactions/lack of action increases cycles of negativity. im not going to live in bondage to people's messy selves. walking on eggshells isn't a way to live and here's to freedom to be (a responsible version of) myself for 2011!
also, we have big plans for our new house, most importantly of which starts with SOLAR PANELS. i am really excited about this!