Thursday, September 01, 2011

The Neighbor From Hell™

GUYS MY NEIGHBOR IS CRAZY.

if ever i mention "a neighbor" just assume, unless otherwise stated that it is The Neighbor From Hell™. This week during bible study wherein 5-7 children were playing outside he barked at them to get off of his driveway. I should interject here that if i haven't already made it explicitly clear in other entries our neighborhood is CHILL. very community oriented, sharing, full of people who are spirited, prone to freak flag flying and the like, as well as being super friendly. so living next to TNFH is a big shock! the last two apartments of our have been in the same neighborhood and we had neighbors over for dinner or coffee at least once a week not to mention chatting each other up almost daily as we went about our lives. anyways - his 8 yr old daughter, the week prior, had expressed major stress about children on her dad's driveway "because he doesn't want it to get dirty."

yes. A DRIVEWAY. getting dirty. you know, like outside in nature!? wthforever

so tuesday night or so i'm out mowing the lawn and as i'm wheeling the mower back to my lovely, sweet neighbors across the street (see! people share stuff here!) i see TNFH waiting on our property line. now, this part is hard to articulate but everything about this guy comes off aggressively. the way he stands leaning towards me, arms crossed, the tone and pitch of his voice, and definitely the language he uses. he says "consider this your verbal warning" about the driveway thing. then goes on to say that if it happens again that one of his THREE lawyers that he "has on retainer! [he] could call them right now!" will be forwarding a letter that they have prepared noting my non-compliance. his jabbing finger and the fact that he is a foot taller than me is making me want to have diarrhea. my face is red in embarrassment and rage. i say MESSAGE RECEIVED and go back in the house.

that night i tell david all about our altercation and at 7:30 am david is knocking on his door saying the following:

- he will never speak to me that way again
- we are fine chatting about anything but if he has an ISSUE he will knock on our door LIKE A MAN and speak with david about it. not corner his wife or bark at his children.
- david called him out on his intimidation scheme both to me and us as a family.
- he owes me an apology
- he is full of crap regarding the whole lawyer, "non-compliance" mumbo jumbo. the charges could only be trespassing and david said, "are you really going to haul my 6 yr old into court?!"

at which point he said the guy looked like our dog when she pees in the corner (LOL!) and admitted that he had been drinking a lot that night and that he would apologize to me. time will tell if this will happen but GO DAVID! i am so loved by that man!

8 comments:

rachaeldear said...

LOOOOOOOVE it! except for TNFH's poor daughter :(

madelyn said...

Oh my goodness David is AWESOMEEE!!
I am so sorry to hear about your neighbor! I must say, my parents have a neighbor like that; he came onto their property while my Mom was doing some yard work and raking leaves and he did that pointy finger intimidation thing you mentioned along with some verbal abuse and her face turned red and she literally RAN away into the house and locked all the doors. Seriously, this guy is scary. So, my Dad went over and tried to talk to him. He was total not havin it and threatened my Dad as well. The story can go on much longer and deeper unfortunately, but I'll stop here. I am SO glad that your neighbor coward!

Bonnie Boo said...

I totally feel your pain! The first time I met my neighbor (after 3 years of living house) he came over to harass my dog and her dog friend as they were playing and barking. Now if they had barking during the night I would have understood his anger, but it was during the day. And they are just dogs, dogs bark! Anyway, he started to shake our fence and make the dogs bark more, probably because they were afraid. When we confronted him he went off about how they were vicious (boxers are not vicious!), he didn't like the way they looked at him, and how he hoped they would escape our yard. Because is they did he would gladly shoot them! Clearly he was drunk. Either way he was a jerk.

Allison said...

It's kinda nice when mild-mannered, sweet husbands go a bit caveman :o)

jenny mae. said...

haha "go caveman". but seriously his monkey brain wanted to defend his family and i couldn't be happier

Alia said...

I couldn't <3 David more if I tried

Suzi said...

I would be so happy to have a man like that; to make a crap situation, golden. What a winner you have there! no apology yet, I assume *going by the more recent post about poor wee Olive...* ?

jenny mae. said...

nope, no apology. im not holding my breath.