Friday, January 19, 2007

close to you

i finished painting the bathroom. (don't yell at me mom!) im very happy with it - before it was too dark (universal kahki) and now its just right (first light). small spaces require bright/light paint i've learned. oh how i wish there was a window in our upstairs bathroom. now my back is hurting though. (sidebar: my mom did most of the work ill add. but tonight i was home alone and finished touching it up)

speaking of which my back has been killing me lately. could it be that carrying around a 7+ months pregnant belly and a 30 lbs. toddler might not make for the best duo? i've been getting biweekly chiropractic adjustments and now im feeling that i need them waaay more, at least once or twice per week. i had my feet scanned to test my weight distribution and one foot was entirely red when it was colorized - meaning im putting all of/most of my weight on one foot. i had a high right hip too. my pelvis is all out of wack, who would've thought?! my dad is in honduras on a missionary trip and i can't wait for him to get back (saturday or sunday) so i can get an adjustment. i need to start getting more massages too.

because of my back pain i've been limited in how much i can pick up augustine, it breaks my heart. i think he knows im less likely to pick him up too because he seizes the opportunity to run amuck or throw tantrums in public. he's generally a very very sweet kid but i truly feel he knows i am limited - and of course he doesnt know why, which makes me even more sad. so tonight i did my best to be close close with him. we ate at the table together like civilized folk (he even brought along some reading material (a tigger book) for some conversation pieces to discuss over the spread.

two kinds of grapes, carrots with hummus, cereal, chocolate milk. im happy my son doesnt know what mcdonalds is but does know what hummus is. once on the way back from a midwife appointment he was in the back seat screaming his head off going "HUMMUS!!! HUMMUS!!! HUMMUSSSSSS!!!" david and i sat up front just giggling and smiling that our kid was throwing a tantrum over wanting hummus. as you can see it was as usual, a big hit and he gobbled it up first.

after his bath i did something ive never done before (and have been scolded for on many ocassions by my mother). i rocked him to sleep. i don't know why i've never done this before, but i want especially now and after olive is born, to continually reinforce to him how much i love and encourage the sharing of intimate space. he's such an "attachment" kid, always sitting very close to me with his hand on mine even to watch a video, crawling up in my lap to read a book, etc. etc. but i guess just lately since i havnt been able to meet all of his physical-emotional needs like i want to, i wanted to do something special. david called to tell me he's snowed in in new york for another night (boo hiss) so i considered trying to get the boy to sleep in our bed together tonight but he's never been much of a happy cosleeper so i decided against it. which in hindsight im glad about because im so utterly uncomfortable that we'd both be rolling around like mad and waking each other up im sure.

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