Thursday, November 29, 2007

aching and breaking

my heart is aching. breaking. ripping out of me right now. last week an old friend from high school had a baby and today it passed away, born too soon. this is the SECOND baby that has passed away in this manner. i can't stop weeping. i can't calm down. i know God is in control, has a Plan for us all but i do not know how i could go on living. twice. TWICE! my heart has officially sunken through my entire body and is now resting on the floor between my feet

how do i begin to write a card, a note, dial the phone. what in the world could my trembling voice or hand express to this woman. i keep venturing to compose a note and i just sit there and stare blankly and bite my lip and then burst into a heap of tears. i couldn't go on. i could.not.go.on.

6 comments:

CC said...

I lost a baby last year. The best thing anyone said was....."You child was so blessed to have you as her parents even for the short time she was here".

No matter how numb or in pain they are right now, their community making the effort to reach out matters. My heart goes out to you all.

jenny mae. said...

thank you so much for sharing your experience. i just don't know what in the world could possibly provide any comfort to such a wound

Oldnovice said...

It's hard, but my suggestion would be to simply say, "I'm so sorry." and the sooner the better. After that, just listen.

Thirty years ago, I worked with two other women. One of the women had just returned to work from maternity leave, I was just about to pop with childbirth, and the 3rd woman had recently lost her baby. The woman who had lost her baby got off the elevator to see the two of us standing there. Neither of us knew how to handle this, and I think we both cast our eyes away from her.

Some years later, I ran into this woman again and she spared no details telling me how horrible she felt that we couldn't look at her that day. She said that was the day that her grief turned to anger (all because of our response). All we had to do was say, "I'm SO sorry!"

jenny mae. said...

i did end up going to the funeral and she said my presence was all she really needed. there are no words and she knows that. wow.

rachaeldear said...

there's a family who are patients of ours at the office i work in. their first child choked at the age of 2 and died due to some sort of EMT equipment malfunction. their second child died one day after it was born. i noticed one day that the husband was coming in to be treated for depression. i wish i could have said something or done something for him but i could have gotten fired because of privacy laws. that really broke me up... good for you for going to her funeral.

jenny mae. said...

i had to go. my heart wasn't able to stop thinking about her (mother and child). i am speechless but full of hope for healing. God is able to do all things