i spent the entire weekend with my mom because she was incredibly sick. david is working a lot lately (see below) so i figured i'd just stay the night friday night, watch the OSU game with her since my dad was going to the game and she'd be all alone, and then of course baby her. i get there friday and no really she was really sick with a probable double ear infection + bronchitis (confirmed later at a doctors appointment). can i just say how sad it is to take care of ones parents when they are deathly ill? it made me think of all of the times she probably did that for me when i was a baby. so anyways while she was laid out on the couch i made her some homemade chicken noodle soup, filled her ears with olive oil, and made sure she took her medications. outside of her being sick it was actually a fair time spent there. my mom and i tend to stay up really late when i'm there and talk about Jesus, which i really like. just how to make the world better and further the Kingdom little by little, etc. when i went in to say goodbye (i got roped into staying a second night!) sunday afternoon she was asleep sitting up in bed and it made me want to burst into tears it was so sad. like a sick little kitten or something. so i havnt been ignoring anyone who has emailed me or left comments, ive been in a dark hole this weekend!
feist was last night and she was SO GOOD. the opening band/guy was rather lame though unfortunately and i leaned over and whispered to david that i was only clapping at the end of each song because it was over and with each song done it meant feist was closer to starting. he laughed, which i liked. im not a funny person at all so when david laughs it means a lot. oh and i was not wild about the fact that she mellowed out the song inside & out. i really wanted to boogie to that one! they also didn't play secret heart. woe is me. but then they came back for an encore with sea lion and i just could.not.sit.still i was so hand-clappy. it was fantasticcccc
so yes david is a ghost in this house right now. outside of our date sunday night i have seen him about 5 hours in the last week. he's been sleeping at work for a handful of hours only to get up and keep working and it makes me so sad. he's such a hard working man and i am by no means an angry or violent person but im almost at the end of my rope with his boss doing this to his employees. oh and since david is on salary it is completely at his bosses discretion whether he feels like giving david anything extra for working like 80 hours a week. (sidebar: david actually logged an astounding 98 hours this week!!!) this too shall pass. this too shall pass. it makes it even harder because we know what the future holds for david (that he will be quitting to go back to school as soon as the house sells) so its REALLY hard not to throw in the towel emotionally, for me. david has too much integrity to not kill himself for the greater good and that is 1/1,000,000th of the reason i love him. he's just got class where most others would put their fist through a wall or storm into their bosses office and start demanding things.
oh a lighter note:
new article i wrote was published!
im getting worn out in some ways but energized in others. isn't that just how life goes? rarely do i just float in the space between and tra-la-la through life. tonight on the way home from maggie + austin's i felt like i could have fallen asleep at the wheel. auggie kept commenting from the backseat how "mama is tired". i actually chirped my tires once when i almost drove straight through a red light. auggie said i scared him.
speaking of the boy i think he is turning a corner and into a new phase. the last hmm... 3-6 months have been tough with him. he was just so for lack of a better term TWO. coupled with the fact that olive was (and in many ways still is) receiving so much of my attention, he was a bit of a handful. i cannot explain the change, it is subtle but powerful though, and i hope it lasts. i think my approach to the situation has changed too. instead of waiting to scold him when he pushes olive down/hits olive/throws a tantrum, etc. i praise him when he is being good, affirm every helpful thing he does with olive, etc. augustine is one who responds 10 fold to positive reinforcement than to negative, always has. recently he has shown a lot more interest in being friends with olive, which is something that has been sorely lacking previously. maybe he has become resigned to her presence? whatever the cause it pleases me to no end when he, of his own accord, fetches her a toy or her pacifier when she is crying or lays on the floor next to her if she has fallen down and coos "why you crying olive? it's otay. don be sad." so the above mentioned really energizes me. the body is weak but the spirit is willing.
oh and i finished the kiddos christmas shopping yesterday. WHOO HOO!
and this made me cry