!!!

!!! MY BROTHER JASON AND HIS WIFE KAREN ARE PREGNANT !!! after 4 long and i suspect heartbreaking years of trying they are due in early january! last night we all went out to celebrate mothers day with my two brothers & their wives, david and our fambly, and my parents. i gave my mom a lame box of chocolates, josh gave her uhhh something i can't remember, and jason gave her a big picture frame with three pictures in it. the first was of auggie, the second of olive (their only two grandchildren), and the third was a piece of paper that said "due in january". this is where i kicked out my chair and screamed and jumped up and down and hugged them, we all did. when i turned around the whole restaurant was looking at the table of lunatics that were hooting and hollering but who would care at a moment like that?!

so now that the Big News is out there let me back up and talk about the weekend a little. saturday night there was a small break in the weather so i worked myself ragged planting the garden. these arms are not meant to swing a pick ax for 2 hours, nope nope nope. but i did get everything planted and that was my goal. i also lined all but two of the paths between the rows with straw for weed control. hopefully the rest i can actually remember to bring and use the newspaper under the straw for even more weed control but well, im forgetful and i wasn't about to get back in the car and drive home for a stack of newspapers especially with our excess of straw for such a task. by the end of the night i had broken my trowel and was covered in mud and sweat but it was wonderful to have some quiet time to myself. gardening is the most relaxing thing next to sleep for this gal. i certainly don't mind it being a group activity but i get more out of it if it is just me and the earth.

i came home from gardening and plopped myself on the couch with some meatloaf i had shoved into the oven as i was heading out, so david didn't have to make dinner and looked around and thought "hmm... this room feels different somehow." and when i looked around i saw my mothers day present. david listens to me once in a while :) i've been talking for oh, maybe 3 years about wanting to get some interesting lamp shades. score!

despite sunday's joyful news for me the day was very middle of the road, neither great nor awful. i woke up intuiting that God would make me sing Blessed Be the Name of the Lord during church, a song that of all days i didn't know i could sing because of it's reference in my heart to beatrix. of course we did and i had tears streaming down my face and i choked and sputtered and couldn't sing but a few lines. it was appropriate for mother's day (for me at least, even though the song itself probably didn't feel that way to anyone else). i can't seem to get through that song ever without crying and thinking of her. i called austin (who was/is beatrix's father) that night and we talked a bit about it, it felt good to talk to him and not just bottle it all up like im tempted to do. sometimes i feel kind of stupid feeling so emotional over the loss when it wasn't my own child. that doesn't ring true in my mind or heart but every once in a while i fall prey to that feeling of self consciousness over my involvement. i didn't get to wish maggie a happy mothers day and i feel even more awful.

also my mother in law, father in law, and davids grandpa came over on sunday as well. i made some lasagna & david made a big delicious salad. topped off the meal with some scrumptious peanut butter, chocolate, banana pie.