for renee

me, christine, renee, holly - 1999

i drifted off to sleep tonight dreaming about camping with my three best friends in high school only to be shaken awake by david telling me christine was on the phone. judging by the hour i knew it wouldn't be good. renee was dead, im guessing by a drug overdose based on what limited information i know about her lifestyle. for the last 8 yrs it's been like the slowest car crash imaginable. everyone has seen it coming i think but it makes it no less shocking. me in my infinite guilt still beat myself up, now more than ever, for some of the recreational drug use that went on amongst our friends. that girl had so many strikes against her but it doesn't make swallowing this news any easier. she leaves behind two very small children.