Saturday, October 11, 2008

indian summer

yesterday i literally sat for 3 hours in the sun reading on the grass. just lounging around like some whimsical minded college kid. all i needed was a cup of some warm obscure tea and heck i was back there! im engulfed in The People of the Book and as per robina's review it is taking over my life. must. devour. i laid there on the grass in the beaming sun while the kids scampered around making a leaf collection and thought of my fall mix i've been rocking lately, specifically scenic world by beirut. ain't life dandy sometimes?

speaking of said mix, you can download it here because i love you that much.

track list:
asobi seksu - walk on the moon
basia bulat - sugar and spice
beirut - scenic world (if not using itunes, download this version)
broken social scene - shampoo suicide
the chemical brothers - where do i begin?
danielson - farmers feed the waiters
death cab for cutie - lack of color
frontier ruckus - dark autumn hour
fruit bats - silent life
great lake swimmers - i am part of a large family
hot chip - the warning
the national - apartment story
neutral milk hotel - king of carrot flower
pinback - penelope
sigur ros - hoppipolla
sufjan stevens - for the widows in paradise, for the fatherless in ypsilanti


today we had gymnastics class and the kids had a good time. sometimes i get down on auggie because i see olive doing things that is at par with or better than him. im like "dude! she is 18 months!" but that is just who he is and who she is. she is physical and i shouldn't impose this standard onto him. still. that boy has little sense of perseverance. the slightest hint that he isn't good at something and he crumbles and won't try it again. here is a fundamental difference between my two kids - augustine won't try anything until all signs point to safe and capable. olive will try anything until she gets hurt. my mom often remarks that this was the same way my two older brothers were too so at least i have a model of what they might be like when they grow up? today at gymnastics they were doing somersaults at the same level and speed. olive hung on and swung from the low bar longer than auggie. anyways i've met two moms there and im finally relaxing my iron grip on social stuff. i engage in everything that i do for the kids and the idea of simply chilling with a person because our children are the same age or are in the same class just isnt something that i gravitate towards. i mean small talk sure, but playdates where the kids are the focus, nah. not me. i have to like people on a foundational level and then oh! you have kids too? awesomer! (yup i said awesomer) but it's been nice talking to these ladies, giving a friendly nod and meaning it. today i sat around for quite a while after class just sitting around with one of the moms getting to know her. God sure had a sense of humor when he gave such an outgoing person as myself a social anxiety disorder, whoah. i have to laugh at myself.

5 comments:

Dinah said...

Hi Jenny. I've been a reader of your blog for a while now and like most of everyone, I also found you through your youtube video. I chose to comment on this entry because I'm listening to the mix that you posted and I just want to say thank you. Not just for the mix, but for being so open about life and love, about your way of thinking, about everything. I'm 19 years old and I can sincerely tell you that you alone have opened my mind and changed my thinking on a lot of things. You live simply, and for God, and that's just amazing to me. Your happiness flows through everything you do and your reasoning makes the simplest things seem beautiful. You're humble.
I live in Arizona and I've never really felt like I've belonged here. I dream of moving practically everyday and just starting my life as who I am and not who others want me to be. You've made Ohio seem like the ideal place to live, so I started researching OSU and they actually have both of the majors I want to take, and I haven't been able to find that anywhere! I'm hoping to maybe move there one day and pursue the happiness that I haven't been able to find out here. I long for the life that you have. So I guess through all of this, I just want to say thank you for allowing me to see that it IS possible to have that, thanks for giving me hope, and thanks for showing me the part of me that I haven't shown for a very long time.
Who knows, maybe someday I'll see you in Ohio and be able to thank you in person. God Bless you. :)

jenny mae. said...

dinah, my husband attends OSU (for the second time!) and he really loves it! what majors are you thinking about?

Dinah said...

well i'd like to finish my social sciences emphasis since i've been working on that out here, but i read on the OSU website about some great sociology classes that would never be offered at the community college i attend right now.
plus, i read that they offer textile design and i always kind of wanted to do that.

i don't even know what i'm going to be when i grow up, i'm still figuring it all out, but i do know that there is nothing for me in this little town. i feel restrained and i know that i'm able to grow but that i won't be able to if i continue to live here. everyone is too complacent here. it's sad.

i've been looking on craigslist for apartments and room mates, but it's so hard to check things out when you live pretty much on the other side of the US. haha

my plan is to save money to go out there and find a place/possible room mate and then establish myself out there and THEN attend OSU.

i used to go to church out here, but i never felt like i had the church family, the support, that i wanted. and now that i haven't gone in a while, i feel like a part of me is missing. the church you go to, is it really great?

jenny mae. said...

if you come very close to my ill whisper a secret in your ear. that is that i am 26 and still dont know what im going to be when i grow up nor do i know what the heck im doing! :) to me that is why life is so long, so we have a lot of time to figure it out. and let's be real, does anyone figure it out? nope!

if you are seriously about moving here and need any advice about good neighborhoods or anything feel free to ask!

and yes, the church i go to is great. full of passionate real people, wanting to engage suffering and live out the jesus lifestyle.

Dinah said...

that's so true. i get so caught up worrying about my future that i sometimes get anxious about living in the present.

but the church sounds amazing. :)

have you heard about ricebowls.org? it's a great organization and i know you mentioned other things as such on another blog.

this is really forward of me, but do you have a myspace?
if you don't want to post it on here, which is understandable, mine is www.myspace.com/gutterballqueen_87