national day of remembrance

today is national day of remembrance for pregnancy and infant loss . a day to observe all babies lost due to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, etc. a few months ago my mother in law and i toyed around with participating in a memorial walk. what a heavy subject to tackle.

i can count so many women who have had miscarriages and the resultant pain from that. and not in any way to diminish the pain of those experiences, for they are real and vast but my mind turns to the brother or sister i never had (my mom was hit by a drunk driver), my niece or newphew that never will be, beatrix, kyla, and victoria today.

as many of your know february 7th of this year my best friends' the baxters birthed and lost their daughter beatrix all at once. oh i can barely speak about it. my throat is clenching so i've got to just keep typing. my mind also revisits my high school friend lori, who has lost two children around the time of their birth. oh. just OH! the grief of my heart revisiting these situations is heavy. as a mother i think it is our collective worst fear that anything should happen to our children. today i lift up and pray for a supernatural healing and level of comfort to embrace every woman who has ever lost a child.

People notice
There's a special glow around you.

You grow
Surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
In your mother and father's eyes.

And if sometimes
Between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day
You'll understand.

You'll understand
There was once another child
A different child
Who was in their hopes and dreams.

That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.

Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.

May hope and love wrap you warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious
How infinitely fragile
Is this life on earth.

One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another father's silent grief
Then you, and you alone
Will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.

When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them
With great compassion,
"I know how you feel.
I'm only here
Because my mother tried again.