Tuesday, October 13, 2009

feeling strange, advanced kid, joy/sad

i've been feeling kind of strange for about a week and i can't put my finger on what could be wrong. i had a headache for a few days (and hydrating myself did nothing by way of relief), nothing severe but enough that i busted out the ibuprofen for it several times. the most notable symptom is that i feel sort of disconnected, in a haze, slightly confused off and on. driving is not the easiest thing and it gets me frustrated and anxious because that is when it is most pronounced. i don't feel "sick" but i also don't feel "not sick". i guess i would say that i feel "strange" when i am say, on the computer or vegging out in front of the tv there is nothing amiss, but reading a book, driving a car, etc. and i feel as if im walking in a fog. i bring this up not for an internet diagnosis just to talk about what's going on because last night at group it was really bad and i thought i was going to vomit or pass out. it sounds silly but i felt the same way i did when olive was born and i was bleeding a lot - like on the border of going into shock. clammy, couldn't concentrate, faint, nauseous, fatigued. it didn't feel like known physical problems of mine - anxiety attacks or hypoglycemia. maybe it was a fluke? i'm going to give it another week and if i still feel this way ill go to a doctor.

olive is kind of advanced. yeah i know, i sound like one of "those parents" but hey, the shoe fits and all that. last week we were watching the ohio state game on tv and she said "mommy, how do you spell ohio?" and i spelled it, she wrote it down on a piece of paper. SHE WROTE O-H-I-O AND SHE IS ONLY 2. david and i just sort of stared at each other bug eyed before offering a robotic "um congratulations! WOW" i wish wish wish she was able to enroll in pre-preschool because she is so ready. another thing she's shown interest and ability in? ballet. one day she went upstairs to her dress up clothes trunk, put on full ballerina garb, and came downstairs to show me her arabesque and walking on her tippy toes. it was hilarious and also shocking. how does a 2 yr old know what the heck an arabesque is, and BY NAME? ballet classes here start at age 3 and i've already promised her enrollment as soon as she is able. i'm also checking out books and an instructional dvd on childhood ballet for her to practice with.

finally, tonight is going to be a mix of sadness and joy. david's grandpa's viewing will be this evening from 6-8, with the graveside funeral tomorrow at noon. we have decided to take the kids with us to both as david's sister/brother in law and their 4 girls will be in town, from massachusetts. the kids will want to spend as much time as they can, plus i think the oldest (jena) who is i believe 8 will be a good enough positive role model concerning how to act during the services. so we will be joyful to see maria and duane and their girls but of course very sad under the circumstances.

9 comments:

Kathleen said...

Hugs for you guys. Just hugs.

meridith said...

i'm so sorry to hear this. kind of reminds of what i went through before i found out about my issues with thyroid and pcos. also reminds me of what michelle experienced. i hope you find a remedy or relief soon.

who knew little olive would love ballet? she is seriously one amazing 2 year old.

jenny mae. said...

i didn't know you had thyroid/pcos :( im sorry. also, which michelle?

saylor days said...

me! i went to several doctors/ct scan/ear tests/chiropractor and everything. i had horrible 'brain fog', dizziness, nausea.. horrible. best diag. they could offer- migraine associated vertigo and inner ear disorder. i know that feeling of just feeling 'off' and that caused depression. didn't know what was wrong but just didn't feel well. lasted 5 months, took meds that helped, now have occasional bouts/moments/attacks...will pray for you, i did discover countless people who have similar issues so that was 'reassuring' but also ridiculous... there's a root cause! food, back, chemical, pyschological...?!
she WROTE OHIO. and HOW did she learn what an arabesque was. amazing.

meridith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
meridith said...

praying for you and yes that's the michelle i meant :)

Nathalie said...

anemia? low blood pressure ? tall, thin people (like myself) often have low blood pressure..

mandi said...

oh, i hope you feel better. feeling off...that is hard. just that ambiguous NOT knowing...

and little olive! way to go! she reminds me of my daughter. here's a funny: we were eating with my inlaws, dylin was about 18 months old. her grandad held up the salad tongs that were in the shape of a bird and said "look dylin, flamingoes!" and she said "no grandad, pelicans" and...she was right. so funny!

Kristin said...

I was thinking maybe anemia, too? I hope you're feeling better!!