i've been feeling kind of strange for about a week and i can't put my finger on what could be wrong. i had a headache for a few days (and hydrating myself did nothing by way of relief), nothing severe but enough that i busted out the ibuprofen for it several times. the most notable symptom is that i feel sort of disconnected, in a haze, slightly confused off and on. driving is not the easiest thing and it gets me frustrated and anxious because that is when it is most pronounced. i don't feel "sick" but i also don't feel "not sick". i guess i would say that i feel "strange" when i am say, on the computer or vegging out in front of the tv there is nothing amiss, but reading a book, driving a car, etc. and i feel as if im walking in a fog. i bring this up not for an internet diagnosis just to talk about what's going on because last night at group it was really bad and i thought i was going to vomit or pass out. it sounds silly but i felt the same way i did when olive was born and i was bleeding a lot - like on the border of going into shock. clammy, couldn't concentrate, faint, nauseous, fatigued. it didn't feel like known physical problems of mine - anxiety attacks or hypoglycemia. maybe it was a fluke? i'm going to give it another week and if i still feel this way ill go to a doctor.
olive is kind of advanced. yeah i know, i sound like one of "those parents" but hey, the shoe fits and all that. last week we were watching the ohio state game on tv and she said "mommy, how do you spell ohio?" and i spelled it, she wrote it down on a piece of paper. SHE WROTE O-H-I-O AND SHE IS ONLY 2. david and i just sort of stared at each other bug eyed before offering a robotic "um congratulations! WOW" i wish wish wish she was able to enroll in pre-preschool because she is so ready. another thing she's shown interest and ability in? ballet. one day she went upstairs to her dress up clothes trunk, put on full ballerina garb, and came downstairs to show me her arabesque and walking on her tippy toes. it was hilarious and also shocking. how does a 2 yr old know what the heck an arabesque is, and BY NAME? ballet classes here start at age 3 and i've already promised her enrollment as soon as she is able. i'm also checking out books and an instructional dvd on childhood ballet for her to practice with.
finally, tonight is going to be a mix of sadness and joy. david's grandpa's viewing will be this evening from 6-8, with the graveside funeral tomorrow at noon. we have decided to take the kids with us to both as david's sister/brother in law and their 4 girls will be in town, from massachusetts. the kids will want to spend as much time as they can, plus i think the oldest (jena) who is i believe 8 will be a good enough positive role model concerning how to act during the services. so we will be joyful to see maria and duane and their girls but of course very sad under the circumstances.