you're going to see a picture of my toes if you keep reading. just sayin. some people have foot "issues".
over dinner last night augustine and i went back and forth naming blessings in our lives. "cozy beds!" "a car that works!" "toys!" "friends!" and so on. it was such a pleasant way to reflect and focus on what matters. this past month has been kind of a financial struggle and it's sort of stressed me out. our combined income is around $17,000 and really i thank God for making our income like the story of the loaves and fishes. i do not know where the abundance comes from with so little but we always always have enough money to pay all of our bills on time and in full, have food in our stomachs, clothes on our backs, with some left over for us to be generous with. literally we have had no lifestyle change from when he was making upwards of almost $40,000. well no health insurance, minus a car (that was already paid for), and cell phone but i dont consider those significant changes because all but the health insurance we were more than happy to get rid of. but the health insurance thing causes my heart to fall into temptation about controlling my world. i feel scared, even though ive rarely even used it when i had it! basically it was for a twice a year prescription refill for my anxiety medication and a biannual trip to the doctor so he would keep writing me a script. anyways - for the last two weeks ive been having some weirdness with my feet, specifically my second, forth, and pinky toes (??).
it's hard to see but the "knuckle" is really inflamed and the skin is pretty taut (especially in the morning). i noticed today that there is even some grayness on the joints of the fourth and pinky toes. it started about two weeks ago and to my knowledge nothing in my hygiene has changed. i was just stressing about the idea of going to a doctor without insurance but also about not going at all if it isnt getting worse.
remember this genius plan to go sledding when it was -13? hey guess what? I GOT FROSTBITE. i sent this photo around to some friends and instantly a few said it and my symptoms sounded just like it. i clearly remember wearing tights and two pairs of socks and my feet were probably sweating, then when i went out in the cold my toes literally froze. the night we went i was reading on the couch and felt intense burning but i thought it was related to the fact that i have a mild wool allergy and was wearing wool knee high socks. *buzzer sound* basically i have an intense under the skin burn. you can see in the above picture that all of the damage is under the skin, even in places appearing bruised or even gray. it looks way more gnarly in person. i just hope i dont have lasting effects from it by way of nerve damage or circulation problems.